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I have said sorry 67 times today. Recipients of my apologies have included friends, an editor, a guy I'm messaging on Tinder, a barista who messed up my coffee order, and, after it clattered loudly to the floor, my hair-dryer.
In a city like New York, where everyone is jostling for space, attention, and Cronuts, "sorry" has become a catchall term that can mean anything from "Get out of my way!" to "Yup, I grabbed the last Alexander Wang for H&M dress a second before you." But useful as it may seem, an overactive sorry reflex carries a ton of downsides. "When you're constantly apologizing, it can make you appear incompetent to outsiders," warns Melody Wilding, LMSW, a Manhattan-based therapist. "But it can also shatter your self-image. Instead of focusing on what your needs are, you're focused on the needs and perceptions of others."
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